Accepting change as an INFJ

Introverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Judging

I had the opportunity to have not just one, but TWO conversations about personality types this week!  That was fabulous.  A lot of good things have happened this week.  We are settling in to the Clark residence, and starting to work out all the little things which have to be figured out when you suddenly move in with another couple and have to make your lives mesh.  I love having people around, and Justin and Christy are wonderful people, and I am already so enjoying having another woman to talk to and commiserate with!  But, as much as I love people, I am still an introvert, and I am still exhausted.  Right now I am actually alone in the house, just me and Buck, sitting in the super comfy chair I have claimed for my own, and it is a relief.
We are living in someone else's house, I am making dinner in someone else's kitchen.  I am trying to live with two people I don't know very well, and work for someone I don't know at all.  I am adjusting to a new place, and new roads, and new expectations, and new jargon, and it's a lot of new, and I am honestly doing so much better than I anticipated, but.....my BP was still higher than it has been in months, and I had to go meet my new boss and you could see my heartbeat through the two scarves I was wearing.  That's no joke.  However, I survived, I ate lunch, I even ordered food all on my own, I agreed with everything he said.....and then I tried to find my way home without using the GPS (I was feeling confident), and stop at Fred Meyer to get coke, a laundry hamper, and "some food".  I am not good at getting "some food".  It was a very stressed Rianna who wandered around trying to figure out how to buy food to cook dinner for people whose eating habits she did not fully understand.  It's like being a newlywed all over again.  Christy's trying to eat healthy, and so is Justin, but he wants meat and vegetables, and Jesse wants anything but vegetables, but everyone will eat whatever I cook, because they're polite, so I won't even really know if they like it or not!
Finally left Fred Meyer.
Got in the car and realized I had forgotten the coke and the hamper, which were the two things Jesse (who was locked out of the house because I had the keys) asked me to get.
Stopped at WalMart, made it out again, ran into my grandma in the parking lot!  Crazy.  And nice, but again, I'm socializing in the parking lot at WalMart, and Jesse's asking when I will be home, and wanting to talk about my job, and stress!
Long story short, I got home, talked to Jesse, both of us got upset, he talked to Justin, Justin talked to Christy, Justin talked to me, Christy came in and we had a family meeting, and by the end of the night, after everyone had talked to everyone, and I had cried more than was necessary, lo and behold it all worked out just fine!  But it took a lot of talking, and a lot of figuring, and a lot of remembering that my life is not my own, and everything I do now no longer affects just me, but also my husband and now these other people we have in our life as well.  Which is, well, stressful.
So there's one day in Bend down!  Go us!  The next morning I went to work.  The night before, of course, I was up half the night trying to figure out what to wear, because, obviously, that's the most important thing to be thinking about.  I got myself dressed in the morning (Jesse's comment: "you're wearing those shoes?"), and I went to work.  That was good.  I got there, I went inside, I sat down at my makeshift desk (meaning Bryan set up a computer and scanner for me on the other end of his desk), and started scanning stuff.  I can do that.  Yes!  It was remarkably quiet...we hardly talked, once we all settled into whatever we were doing, and at one point Bryan did this weird double take thing, because apparently my computer monitor was at just the right height to make it look like I was staring at him.  Which I wasn't.  Then Christy and I went to lunch while Bryan had a meeting, and I explained to her why I dislike making restaurant choices, and she explained to me why she avoids making restaurant choices.  We stopped by an art gallery, and went back to work.
Then Bryan had me do real work that was actually important and I messed it up and he was way too nice about it, and I have been beating myself up about it ever since.  I didn't sleep last night because I kept thinking about writing letters, and when I did sleep I dreamed about ruining people's lives by messing up legal paperwork.  But that's getting ahead on the stress timeline.  First we have to mention

that someone called Christy and invited them to dinner (Christy said "we have people living with us now, did you know that?" and "we haven't really discussed how the four of us are going to do things.  Do we have our own lives, or do we do things together?  Are we all expected to be home for dinner every night?").  Justin ended up accepting for all of us and we went straight from work to a busy restaurant with two more strangers, which is....stress.  I ate my ceasar salad in silence, and I felt as though I had been socializing all day long, but I hadn't!  I sat in near silence with two people, and it exhausted me.
I was so happy to get home, and put on my fuzzy pants, and curl up in the big round chair and finish watching Star Wars...I cannot tell you how much I was looking forward to that.  I kept looking at my phone thinking I wanted to text someone to tell them how introvert-exhausted I was, but I didn't want to have to carry on a conversation after that; just wanted to tell someone.
The boys were tinkering in the shop, so Christy and I ended up sitting in the living room and talking for an hour (at least) about everything and it was good.  It was just the right amount of socializing, and I was able to feed my introversion by being cuddled up in my PJ's, but still feel like I was being fed by having another person to actually talk to, who didn't expect small talk or witty comebacks.

All in all, thank heaven it's the weekend, and I have the house to myself and a comfy chair and sourdough bread rising on the woodstove, and I am truly blessed, no matter how stressed.

Back to our roots.

Greetings from Oregon! We are not quite settled yet, and still on the road, but we have made it to the Great Pacific Northwest; hallelujah, praise be! 

We picked up Frank and Vee in Dallas super early Thursday morning, and I had a nice nap in the back of the Subaru at 5am because their flight was delayed for two hours. The plan was to head home, finish packing, pick up the truck on Friday, and be on the road Saturday morning. Instead, the UHaul guy let us pick up the truck Thursday afternoon, so while I was teaching my last class at party planet, Jimmy Moreno came over and helped Jesse and his dad load the big stuff.  By the time I got home, half the place was loaded up.  We tossed the last of the random stuff in boxes (that’s the absolute worst part of moving, trying to figure out how to pack the last random odds and ends.  I wanted to just throw it away.), and curled up in our sleeping bags for the night.  We came into that apartment sleeping on the floor, and we spent our last night there on the floor.  It was fitting.

The next morning we finished the loading (I really got out of most of the work. I should call my in-laws more often!), cleaned everything up, turned in the keys, scarfed some “pig pigs” from the donut place, and were on the road at 10 am.

We ate a lot of PB&J

That first day was long.  Our plan was to get to Denver, Co., and by golly, we made it!  But if we hadn’t booked the hotel ahead of time we probably would have stopped sooner.  We had one last meal in Texas, and introduced the parents to fried pickles.  They were quite delicious; possibly better than the first time I had them. 

Deep fried pickles

Have you ever driven through Oklahoma?  Holy goodness.  Apparently there are jokes about the roads in OK, and while I’ve never heard them, I believe every one of them.  It was instantaneous.  As soon as we crossed the border it was like driving on a sidewalk, with periodically spaced seams and bumpy lumpies.  About halfway through the strip the lines on the road went away, and it was dark, and sketchy, and no fun at all.  Then all of a sudden we hit this massive bump; it was like driving right through a ditch in the middle of the road!  We were a little surprised, and then started laughing about how when we got to the end there would probably be a jump you have to go over to be able to leave the state.  The door’s gotta hit you on the way out.  Then Jesse said “Hey, it’s nice to have lines on the road again!”  We looked at the gps and realized that last bump had been on the state line, and it was night and day difference between Oklahoma and Colorado!  Except it was still night.  But you catch my drift.

It was a long haul, and we had forgotten about the time difference, so 11 was actually midnight, and we were all happy to climb into beds with fabulous comforters!  I thought Vee was going to sneak one out in her suitcase. 

Unfortunately, I made a poor hotel choice and failed to make sure it had a continental breakfast, so we got a later start than we intended, due to having to go to IHOP.

 

Side note: Jesse just said “I don’t regret it that much”, referring to his marriage and subsequent collapse of all his hopes and dreams. Yay me!

Originally the plan was to make it all the way to Payette, ID, where Jesse’s uncle John lives, on the second day, but because we had an extra day, due to picking up the uhaul on Thursday, we decided to circle the wagons in Twin Falls.  That hotel was an excellent choice; there was a dutch brothers across the street!  Oh, coffee gods, thank you for smiling upon my life after two years of abandonment!  Pumpkin eggnog lattes have never tasted so good!

We spend the third day in Payette, watching John process a deer and eating pizza.  It’s super appetizing, I tell ya.  Uncle John is pretty good people.  I know Jesse is greatly looking forward to being close(ish) to John again, and going hunting and doing all that good, manly stuff.

Monday morning brought us across the river where we stopped at a gas station and people were there pumping our gas!  I had been planning to take a picture doing a handstand in front of the Oregon sign this entire trip, so imagine my horror when I realized we had crossed into Oregon and I didn’t even realize it!  I was slightly devastated.  Thankfully, the border was still only about a block away, so after stopping for more dutch bros, Vee and I went back across the river, turned around, and found the Oregon sign!  It was so much smaller than I had anticipated, and it was at the end of a bridge, and there was a wall, and it was super not the way I had envisioned.  However, we made it happen.  Kinda.

Finally, 1 pm found us in Bend, OR!  We threw all our junk in the corner of Justin’s shop.  And his spare bedroom.  And his guest bedroom.  And the refrigerator he bought for us.  Then all four of us piled in the Subaru, and here we are.  Driving little back roads winding alongside the river, watching fall leaves peeking out of the evergreens flash by the window, on our way back to Colton.  Three more hours in the car today, three tomorrow will take us to Elkton, and three more on Wednesday to get us back to Bend, our new home, sweet home. 

Hopefully Jesse will have an interview with Nosler Thursday or Friday, and I should be meeting with Bryan on Monday.  Once jobs are in place we can start looking for a house of our own, and preparing for Sarah to come live with us!  Christy said we will call a family meeting to reevaluate the housing situation in a month.

And you’re all caught up!  I’m sure it’s going to be difficult for me to transition out of teacher mode…I will miss all of my Texas family and the life we shared, but I know God has a plan bigger than even Texas.