It has been too long since I have written anything. It's probably because things really are settling down and becoming more like home. The everyday occurrences are less novel now than they were. But I am trying to keep everyone up to date, so I will try to amuse you with a few short stories.
As you know, I have started substitute teaching at the elementary schools, and it has been great! People say bad things about the schools here, but they seem to be ok from a sub's perspective. The kids all seem good, the teachers act like they care, everyone is nice, the principals do lunch duty...it's not bad. I subbed for the dual language Kindergarten classroom last week, and that one was a bit of an adventure. The morning went fine, I had a helper, she's hispanic, soft spoken, and has a pretty thick accent, so I can hardly understand her, but the kids know what she's saying, so that's good. Thankfully, it was an English week, so they had to speak english, but I did get to sit through her Spanish Language Arts lesson. One girl asked me "What are you doing here?" And I was just like, "I don't even know. I'm just along for the ride right now." After lunch I picked them up from recess, and my helper had disappeared into thin air. The recess teachers told me that "the one that doesn't speak much english in the red shirt" was complaining that he didn't feel well, but they all whine all the time because they want to go see the nurse, so I didn't think much of it, and we went inside to start our math test. Partway through the math test he started crying and causing a ruckus, so I sent him off to the nurse with one of the other kids, because nobody was getting any math done. Well the nurse wasn't in her office, so I had him sit on the carpet, where he proceeded to cry and kick his feet and pound on the floor and ask for him mama. Great. He was creating a lovely atmosphere for the others to focus on math, of course. Well that went on until he suddenly stood up and started vomiting bright blue. It was like somebody dumped a blue slurpee all over the floor. Everybody started yelling, I took him into the bathroom, but the toilet was clogged and it stank, which I didn't figure was going to help him, so I took him back out (the whole time he was following me around and leaving a blue trail behind us) and went into the hall. Mrs. Cyprian's classroom was right across the hall and her door was open, so I left him in the hallway and tried to explain what was going on without totally upsetting her class as well. "Um, Mrs. Cyprian? I have a child out here that's....vomiting blue stuff everywhere." I don't think I accomplished my purpose. She was so nice, she called the office for me, which reminded me that all classrooms have an intercom that goes to the office. That would have been handy.
Anyway, long story short, he finished puking, I put paper towels over all the puddles, because there were absolutely no cleaning supplies in the entire classroom, finished up the math test, and was just getting them lined up and ready to go to the bathroom before the field trip when the janitor came in. I don't think he was very happy with me. He told me next time that I should give him a trashcan. That would have been smart. I did not use my noggin. Anyway, we were all using the bathroom, and I was planning on dropping the little sicko off at the office on our way out, when my helper came back. She rattled off some things in spanish, felt his forehead, and said he was fine and put him on the bus with us. I'm really not certain what I should have done there. I'm pretty sure that when a kid starts puking, you're supposed to send them home. Especially because another teacher came in at the end of the day, somehow got wind of it, and looked at me and said "and why is he still here?" Great. That was totally not my fault. So I tried to explain, and the kids all started yelling "You said we weren't going to talk about it!" And my helper lady said "he didn't have a fever" and I said "I think it was just the ice cream..." And eventually the lady shrugged and left. So I don't think I got into any trouble...But I still feel bad. He did fine the rest of the day, but I was exhausted.
Later that night, we went back to Mary's with Jason and his family before the football game (we seem to be establishing a Friday night routine) and I encountered the 8lb cheeseburger. I don't really know how big it was, but it was about an inch and a half thick. It was seriously massive, and it took me half an hour to eat it. I finished it, though! Everyone was amazed, and accused Jesse of helping, but he didn't even finish his chicken strips, and I ate some of his fries and toast while waiting an hour for my food. That place is fantastic, but it takes a long time to get anything. Oh, I also had a slurpee drinking contest with Jason on the drive over. I think I won, but he was in his own car, so I really don't know. It was a big food day.
Apparently Jason asked Jesse why I never talk...I was tired and grumpy the last time we went out with them, and I will admit that I was kind of a poop face. So I tried my best to be social and nice...but I'm just bad at it. I don't make friends well. I can do customer service like a champ, but that involves social encounters that only last for a minute or two, in which you have a pretty set script, rather than an entire evening at a football game where I have absolutely no idea how to carry on a conversation. I guess I'm going to have to get used to it. Jesse and Jason went to "stretch their legs" which was apparently a plot to leave me with all the womenfolk and force me to talk. Rude. But it worked, I guess. We talked a little. Oh, that reminds me...Jason's wife had a job interview this week. I ought to ask him how it went. Or have Jesse do it. That's easier.
Anyway. Things have been going well here. I've started getting a few more kids in my dance classes, we're going in this afternoon to get our drivers licenses, and the weather has definitely cooled down. We even lit the heaters today. They're super old school, propane, light them with a lighter kind of deal. They've heated about half the house, which is better than nothing. Let's see....anything else? I got a new phone yesterday and it's so giant it hardly fits in my hand...I got my debit card that is hooked to Jesse's bank accounts...and that's about it.
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